Astronaut 9

Who: Astronaut 9 Instagram Website

Why: Because... No, this time it'll be something longer.

At first, I have to admit that I've started to write this post at the beginning of last September which means that it took me 7 months to turn my thoughts into words. Writing this post wasn't an easy thing for me - hope that you'll understand it if you get to the end of it. I have to apologize to Astronaut 9 that it took me so long.

The first song by Astronaut 9 that I've heard was "Dust". It's definitely not a typical "CSGM style" song - it's almost 9 minutes long, it has a lot of rock vibes which - as you might know - is not my favorite genre, and there's a spoken-word poem in the middle of the track. If someone told me that I'll share a song like that on CSGM I would probably not believe - but I couldn't help it - I really liked that progressive composition, that vocal and especially - the meaningful and deep lyrics. Check it by yourself:

"Dust"

On the same day, I've heard the second song from the "Everything Like It's The Last Time" concept album by Astronaut 9. It was even more different than the songs that I'm usually sharing on my blog. This time most of the track is a spoken-word - the singing part doesn't start until 5:30. It's a good time to write that Astronaut 9, also known as Sam Zilli started performing spoken-word poetry at Boston venues and quickly gained a following as a writer in the local scene. While studying music at Berklee College of Music, Sam decided to combine the concepts and write a concept album.

So, why I was so impressed by that song? Because it lyrically broke my heart. The whole track is dedicated to Sam's friend, who killed herself. You'll guess why did she choose that way if you'll check the song's title: "Sarah And Ludo CW: Sexual Assault, Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating Disorders". Listening to Sam, telling us the amazing story of their friendship could really break you into tears.

"Sarah And Ludo CW: Sexual Assault, Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating Disorders"

I know how it is to feel like life isn't worth living anymore. For 27 years of my life, I was classifying myself as a "misfit toy". Now it's my time for public coming out: I'm a nonheterosexual person. I know how it feels to hear from a really important person that people like me should be closed in concentration camps. I know how it feels when you have unnamed "yourself" because you can't identify with L or G or B or T. I know how it feels when you're systematically lying to your friends about yourself because you're still not brave enough to tell them the truth. I know how it feels to plan another suicide attempt because you hate that face in the mirror so much.

When I was 27 I told one person the truth about me. That day changed my life forever. The last two years were my reborn. Right now I'm still the same but at the same time, I'm a completely different person. I dedicate this post to all the people who saved me from myself. I'll be grateful to you forever because life is an amazing thing when you got the ability to accept yourself the way as you are. Thank you for being on my team.

I also want to share the message with all the people who've ever thought about ending their lives. For 27 years I was thinking that there's no way for me to be happy. I know that you're thinking the same way, no matter what the cause is. It's not true. It's just not true. There's a way to find happiness but you'll never find it if you won't let you help. Grab those hands that reach towards you or - if there's no hand - find it! I know that the world is full of douchebags but there are real pure hearts between them. Let yourself find them, let yourself know the beauty of life.

I got my life back. No, I got my life for the first time! And it's amazing.

Check the "Everything Like It's The Last Time" on links below:

Where: AppleMusic iTunes Deezer Tidal GooglePlay